What I Like About Miss Fink-
A Parent's Guide for Disaster Preparedness
Parent: "I really like your teacher this year."
Child: "Yeah- she's really nice and lots of fun."
Parent: "I like the way she cares about you and the other kids in your class."
Child: "We have a lot of fun in Miss Fink's class. We play math games, spelling games, and we're doing 'Reading for Miles' so we can travel around the world for reading pages of books."
Parent: "You seem very happy at school. You know, sometimes I think about you during the day, and I wonder what you are doing right at that time- are you eating lunch, having gym, or taking a test."
Child: "I think about you, too. Sometimes I miss you."
Parent: "I miss you, too sometimes- especially when I am away. But do you know what helps me feel better? I make a picture in my mind of where you are and what I think you are doing. I can see you eating lunch with your buddies or playing floor hockey in the gym or listening to Miss Fink."
Child: "I do that, too."
Parent: "Can you picture me in my office working at my computer or having lunch with my friends?"
Child: "Yeah- I remember that place! You have fun and friends there, too."
Parent: "You know what I really like about Miss Fink? I feel like she is always taking good care of you. I feel like you are very safe and cared for when you are with her. I know you are in good hands."
Child: "She is very nice. I like her a lot. She makes me laugh when I am sad. My art teacher is cool, too. He told me I am a good artist."
Parent: "Hmmm. . . Who else do you see every day?"
Child: "Oh yeah, Linda, my bus driver! I like her! She tells the kids to sit instead of yelling at them."
This hardly sounds like a conversation you would expect a parent to have with a child about what to do in case a disaster strikes. But young children do not need to know, nor can they make sense out of the possibility that disaster can strike in a variety of ways at any time. Recent world events have increased the likelihood that violence will touch our lives and those of our children. Yet, we could never begin to plan for every possible scenario that could happen. While it is probably prudent to have a plan for our families and some supplies on hand for basic survival, young children do not need to be traumatized by our preparedness strategies. We can communicate to them that having extra food and supplies on hand is just a good thing to do in case of anything- blizzards, power outages, etc., and depending on where you live, the possibility of disasters is more prevalent. For example, tornado preparation is a way of life in the Midwest, but not in New England.
Yet, the idea of preparing for terrorist attacks- chemical, biological, or ballistic- is unprecedented anywhere in this country. We don't have a menu of things to select from that have proven outcomes in the event of these kinds of attacks. We are sailing on uncharted waters. So, what is that young children need in order to be prepared for the possibility of sneak attacks from those who threaten the safety and security of country? Children need to know that they are safe, cared for, and connected to loved ones.
Here are 4 strategies for helping children to be prepared in case a disaster strikes, and they need to be separated from their families for a while.
Talk about the people your child spends time with- teachers, coaches, activity leaders, friends and their families. Discuss why you feel good about these people and how you feel they are safe with them. Share your thoughts about what you like about these people who, in your absence, might be their caretakers. Have this conversation often, but not so frequently that it becomes a theme. Children may become suspicious, worried, or mistrustful.
Have a special song, poem, or prayer that you share. Talk about how this makes you feel close when you are separated or away from each other. Share how you said or sang it when you were away and missed your children. Agree to do this when you miss each other.
Consider allowing your child to carry a special object with them, in a backpack or pocket if possible. Depending on the rules of the school or organization, this may or may not be permissible. Talk with administrators, and find out that if under the circumstances, such a practice could be allowable within limits. With your child, select a small toy, a picture, or perhaps a piece of jewelry that they could tuck away as a reminder of home.
Show your child where you usually spend your time when you are apart- your workplace or other places you go when he is in school. As much as possible, give him opportunities to be able to make a "picture" of where you are and what you are doing when you are in these places.
We cannot control many of the events in the world that happen as a result of either natural of human action. We cannot always shelter our children from experiencing these events. The greatest fear a parent has is not being able to be there for our children when they need us.
Should a situation arise where you and your child need to be separated, parents and children will undoubtedly experience anxiety and stress. But we can lessen the degree of these by being prepared - physically and emotionally.
Written by Denise H. Continenza, Family Living Agent- Lehigh County Cooperative Extension and Danny Perkins, Associate Professor for Family and Youth Resiliency-Penn State University.
Additional resources on preparing children for disaster can be found at:
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